Tears from a Rose: Prolouge
By: Shiraishi Mayumi

Spoilers: All of Vol 4 and the end of the series 

Shiraishi: Ugyuu… I’m writing my first yaoi ficcie….
All Weiß: @_@;;; *flee*
Shiraishi: *facevault* Omae-tachi…
Omi: *weakly* A... ano… Shira-san… who exactly are you gonna…. well, you know…?
Shiraishi: *grins* Sore wa…. himitsu desu!
All: *groan*
Yohji: *praying* Please don’t be me, please don’t be me…
Shiraishi: If it’s not you, you’ll be next! ;p
Ken: …..
Shiraishi: And you, too, Ken-san!
Ken: Why me? ;_;    

Why me? Why now? After all that time I spent, all my work… was it for nothing? Is this my point in life? To live in pain? Kami-sama, do you really hate me this much? I’ve spent so long working for this… for her… and now she’s gone.

A car crash. Isn’t it ironic? To think that my beloved sister would be taken away in a car crash is ironic beyond belief. I spent so long working to earn money to bring her back after her first car crash. After she finally woke up, she was killed in a car crash.

The only other person I’ve ever really felt compassion towards is a member of my own group. I know I should hate him. He’s the son of the man who nearly killed my sister. But for some reason, I can’t. Maybe it was the look on his face when he found out who he was. Disgust. And fear. Complete and total fear. He was so afraid that I’d hate him. I never did.

I felt I had to for a while, though. He was the son of the man who nearly killed my beloved Aya-chan. I had sworn to destroy all the Takatori’s. But Omi was the only one throughout our membership of the team Weiß who actually uplifted me. Not that the others insulted me; they were merely passive. Like myself. But Omi… he was always smiling at me. ‘Aya-kun,’ he’d call me. Well, he calls everyone kun. But that’s just part of who he is.

After I got over the initial obligatory feeling, I found out that I couldn’t hate him. Even if I tried, just looking at him and seeing those deep, blue eyes, those eyes that have seen more than a child of his age should ever have to see, I couldn’t hate him.

That’s the only qualm I have about doing what I will. What I must. I have no choice. Nothing left. Except Omi… I left him a letter. It will tell him everything. At least now… now I can be with Aya-chan. We can finally be together, forever…

I… words aren’t enough. After what’s happened over the last couple days, I’m not even sure of myself anymore. Aya-kun… he… I’m sorry. I don’t mean to cry. It’s just that… the letter he left… why? Why did this happen to me? Haven’t I paid for my sins for long enough? My parents didn’t want me. The one man who did died. Oka was killed because of me. Now Aya…

He ran himself through with his own blade. We found his body next to my bed, in my room. In his hands he clutched the letter… that letter… his words will haunt me the rest of my life. There’s a bloodstain in the upper left hand corner of it, from his hand. His only flaw. Other than that, the cut was clean. The only blood that left him soaked into his always black cloak. But I… I know I can never sleep in that room again.

I still remember walking into my room and seeing his body… his lifeless form, chest as red as his hair, spread out half on my bed, half on the floor, clutching a bloody sword in one hand, and a white note in the other. White. A perfect contrast to his own blackness.

I screamed. I remember falling to the floor, clutching at my face, eyes wide as the tears fell in silent, salty streams down my face. I vaguely remember Ken and Yohji showing up. I think they were the ones that called the ambulance. It was a futile effort. We all knew that he’d be thorough. Thorough to the end. Never slipped up. That was Aya-kun for you.

Even now, I can’t walk into that room. All I can see is his body, his blood…

I’ve been staying at a friend of mine from school’s house. I didn’t tell them how, just said someone close to me passed away and I needed to stay somewhere. Passed away. Just a nice term for death. We humans to have a tendency to sugarcoat reality. We like to twist it into things that suit us best. One of our many flaws.

That note… its words will haunt me for all the days I live. Yohji and Ken don’t talk to me about it. I’m not even sure if they read it. It was addressed directly to me. They probably didn’t. If they had, they might not’ve given it to me at all.

For now, though, I must cope. I must live. Somehow, I have to get through this. I’ve always managed to bounce back. I wonder… am I strong enough? Can I recover from even this? Only Kami-sama knows…

 Dear Omi,

 I suppose writing this could be considered cruel to some, especially considering the method I’m using to deliver it. Forgive me. I don’t know of any other way.

 Throughout the time we’ve known each other, I’ve been rather passive. I refused to let anything interfere with Aya-chan. I simply couldn’t bear it if my sister passed away and there was something I could do to prevent it.

 After she awoke and we were reunited, I had so much catching up to do. As you well know, we went to zoos and parks, making up for all our lost time. We did all the things brothers and sisters should do together while growing up; all the things the two of us did together before. That was the first month.

 Then things started happening. Feelings I hadn’t felt in years were returning. Joy. Freedom. Happiness. And Love. I couldn’t understand them at first, but as time progressed, I began to recognize them. I also became more adept at recognizing whom they were directed to. One in particular shocked me. I love you.

 Upon realizing this, I panicked. I’d never loved anyone before, let alone a male. I came close to loving Sakura, but… well, for reasons unknown to me, I love you instead. This… I couldn’t tell you. I know I took the coward’s way out, and I’m sorry. But please, don’t blame any of this on yourself.

 After my Aya-chan died, I knew I could never be myself again. I knew that no matter how hard I tried, I could never be who I was. That was the whole point of me getting my Aya-chan back. So that we could go back to the way things were. Normal. And she is now dead, as are my hopes at one day having a normal life.

 The only regrets I have are you. I wish I could have told you to your face. But I’m not strong enough for that. At least, now I can be with Aya-chan. And we’ll see each other again, Omi, be it in heaven or hell. I’ll always love you.

                                                                                    Eternally yours,
                                                                                    Fujimia Ran